The Secret Wars.

by **EphPhoenix** 5th December 2012, 11:54 am

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He sighed as he stood before his outfit and arsenal. The time had come. He had prepped for this for months, now, so there was no reason to be nervous. (Right?)

He began checking his gear: grapples, holy bombs, sleep grenades, sticky pellets, jacks, marbles, fog bombs, rope, etc. He fastened on his gloves and pulled his goggles down over his eyes, then put his hat on. Finally, he grabbed his staff and headed for the elevator. Tonight was the night.

Once on the roof, he began going over a mental list. The Cockerspaniel, Hoots for Holler, Beer Belly Bongos, Grendel's Dive, and Horust's House of Happy. These places had a certain clientele and would be the most likely to have the information he was looking for.

He ran and leapt off the roof, managing to land on a nearby one and continued running. His heart pounded in his chest and the blood rushed to his ears. He'd never felt so alive.

After ten minutes of rooftop hopping, he found the place he was looking for: The Cockerspaniel. Looking around, he slipped down into an alleyway and walked toward the place. As he neared, he kicked the door open, instantly bringing all eyes onto him.

"Look alive, assholes!" he growled. "I'm lookin' for answers and if ya don't give'em to me, you'll be eatin' pavement for dessert!"

He was met with silence, then suddenly everyone burst into laughter. Alfredo made a face as he involuntarily blushed.

"Whose idea for the entertainment?"

"You behind this, Vinny?"

"What a mook!"

"Hey, kid! Beat it before your mommy comes lookin' fer ya!"

Alfredo's face got redder with each word until finally, he walked over to the nearest table and kicked it over, toppling the men sitting there with it. Laughter stopped immediately followed by the sounds of raucous men.

Alfredo leapt back as one of the men at the table swung at him, retaliating by kicking him hard in the stomach. The man doubled over and Alfreado finished him with a roundhouse kick to the face. Another man swung at him and Alfredo side-stepped and grabbed the arm and flipped him over, stumbling and almost tumbling after. Was easier when I practiced it on the dummy...

He turned and caught a graze to the jaw that sent him stumbling into two men who grabbed him. The guy who hit him came running and Alfredo leapt and kicked out, his feet planting in the man's face and sending him flying backward. Immediately, he turned his palms toward the men and a bolt of lightning emanated from both gloves, sending the men flying with smoke rising from their chests.

"Shit! He's a mage!"

"Fuck that! He's a rookie!"

"Get'im!"

He leapt out of the way of a charge and kicked the guy in the back to help him on his way, dodged another punch and cuffed the man in the chin, causing him to crumple (Yes!), then fell to the ground as a chair struck him in the back.

Stars swam in front of his eyes and he shook them away, rolling free as the man with the chair tried to slam it on him. He leapt to his feet and struck out, getting the man in the throat. He then pulled out his staff and swung hard, cuffing the man in the chin and causing him to spin backward through the air before belly-flopping on the floor.

Staff in hand, he struck another man, down, thrust the butt into another man's gut, then went flying back as a man tackled him. He grunted as he hit the ground and brought his knee up instinctively, kneeing the man in the groin and shoving him off.

It went like this for another few minutes until, finally--blessedly--he was the last man standing. He bent over, breathing hard. This was a lot harder than the books and his practicing had led him to believe. He pushed to his feet and walked over to a man and kicked him over, pulling out a knife and pointing it at his groin.

"You're just the cocksucker I was looking for," he growled breathlessly. "Barnabas Hexam. You work, huff, for the Stoneham Gang. You and I need to have words..."

"Go fuck yourself, kid," the man spat. "I ain't tellin' you sh--okay, okay! Let's be civil about this..." Alfredo had jammed the knife a little into the man's crotch.

"That's better," he said. "Tell me about the work you do for the Dooley Foundation..."

by Guest 18th January 2013, 11:46 am

Kropp smirked, looking through the cabinets for a pan. "Damn for someone who has robots for damn near everything this ladd sure has a lot of shit." He reached in and pulled three of different sizes out. Setting them all on the stove he rummaged throughout the kitchen for things that he would need. When he had found all that he had needed, he started the oven. "Now, alongside being the ships pilot I also serve as its, unofficial, cook. As such I am accustomed to making military amounts of food. Which might come in handy considering the company we're keeping." As he said this he was juggling a manner of things cooking over the stove; bacon, eggs, and a few other things that had not yet taken shape. Helena in the meantime, felt ready to exit the shower, she peaked out searching for a towel. She found a rather large stack but noticed something else; her clothes were gone. No one had come in, she hadn't heard the door. Her clothes couldn't have just walked off. She scanned the room until she found it; a chute labeled laundry equipped with two mechanical arms. Helena growled to herself, "Barking robots." She turned the water off and snatched a towel from the rack. She found a robe hung in the corner. It might have been that Wonter kids, but she didn't really care. It was either that or she run around the house in a towel. She wrapped the robe around herself, put her hair up in the towel and exited, wondering where Kropp had gone.

by **EphPhoenix** 18th January 2013, 12:04 pm

Etrigan chuckled. "So this is how you exorcise my kin?" he said with giddy amazement, laughing almost hysterically. "Apparently, they've gotten extremely soft in the last millennium or just let you win." He suddenly whipped Henry back into his own head. "That'll be enough of that," he said. "My point is made, you failed at bat."

Before another word could be spoken, an alarm went off in the lab. Alfredo immediately looked up and groaned, slapping a hand to his forehead. "Not now of all times..."

Upstairs, the door swung open. "Alfie! You in!" called a female voice. "Of course you are. You do nothing else other than fiddle with machines..."

Lucia strolled in with her two medibots behind her--one of them shut the door. "Alfie! Where--why am I yelling? You're in your bloody lab..."

by Red 18th January 2013, 12:16 pm

Henry scowled. "Most don't exactly expect-"

He jumped and fell silent as an alarm went off, standing up and hearing Lucia upstairs. "That the doctor?"

by **EphPhoenix** 18th January 2013, 12:23 pm

Alfredo nodded ruefully. "I've managed to keep her away till now, but she's persistent like a cockroach--well, they were persistent, at least. The seek and destroy bot I made put an end to their entire nest in short time."

"Alfie! Snap out of your trance!"

He sighed and stood up. "Gotta go."

"You're dealing with minor demons and fools," Etrigan said as Alfie sauntered off. "My mental guards are properly maintained tools. Always on and and always active. That, young mortal, is the only way to live."

by Red 18th January 2013, 2:31 pm

Henry grimaced. "Sounds thrilling," he said. "We're done for now. I'm finding something to eat." Besides, he didn't think the lovely doctor could see Etrigan, and he didn't want to look like a madman talking at shadows.

He started to follow after Alfie, keeping a fair distance between the two of them in case the woman did something... unexpected.

by **EphPhoenix** 18th January 2013, 3:03 pm

"Hmm..." Alfredo rubbed his chin as a sudden thought occurred to him.

"Alfie, what are those squatters still doing--hey!"

Alfredo had suddenly grabbed Lucia by the arm and drug her back into the lab. He immediately threw the glasses on her.

"Alfredo Maximillian Wontner! What are you--what do these do? Make you see pretty lights?"

She looked at Alfredo to Henry. "You have strange glows around you," she said. "Henry's looks like his got scratched by a tiger."

Alfredo nodded. "So they work on norms. But what about Etrigan? Do you see him?"

"Etrigan? Who--"

He pointed in Etrigan's direction and she looked. "I see a dark field," she said. "It's similar to what's around you, but outside of that, I don't see anything. That a test point or something...?"

Alfredo sighed. "Yes," he said disappointedly, "a test point..."

by Red 18th January 2013, 3:11 pm

Henry had leaped back as Alfredo started dragging the woman down to the lab, and stepped back out of the way as he gave her a set of glasses. Already took those big lenses and made that?

He drew back as she looked over at him, again feeling vulnerable. As she glanced to Etrigan, his gaze followed, watching the demon as Lucia inspected his aura.

He raised his eyebrows as Lucia looked away. How does it feel to be a test point? "Ah, good day, miss, excuse me," he said, starting to go back up the stairs to find some food.

by Guest 18th January 2013, 3:17 pm

Hailey started making impatient noises as Kropp was talking about his crew and how he was the unofficial chef. She layed down on the table an pretended to sleep while overexagerating a snore.

"Hopefully your faster than this when you are feeding your crew or else they might all die of hunger before you can even accomplish anything" she said with a yawn and a teasing giggle.

by Guest 18th January 2013, 3:32 pm

Kropp mockingly glared at her. "Oi, unless you want your meat and eggs raw I recommend you hush up, lass." A savory smell began to waft from the kitchen as Kropp deposited piles of food onto places and rested them on the counter. Helena sniffed the air, being drawn downstairs by the smell of Kropp's cooking. He looked back at Hailey. "Y'mind placing those on the table and not eating them yet?" He was currently flipping pancakes, smiling with pride when he managed to catch one as it fell from the air.

by **EphPhoenix** 18th January 2013, 3:34 pm

"Hold it, you!"

Lucia had grabbed Henry by the shoulders and had him turned around in an instant. Her gaze was stern.

"Your ankles were near broken when last I was here. By all accounts you shouldn't be hopping about."

She dragged him to a chair and had his boots off before his butt could find the seat, examining and feeling his ankles.

"Remarkable!" she exclaimed. "It's like they were never injured! That shouldn't be possible! Unless--" she looked over at Alfredo "--this 'Healing Module' you spoke of?" He nodded. "That's amazing! One of your inventions could--I can't believe I didn't notice your arm--" She grabbed him up, examining as she talked a mile a minute. "You can't just let it collect dust like the rest of these relics, you need to share it with the world! Who knows! Maybe we could cure diseases like--"

"It uses magic," Alfredo said simply.

"Oh," she said disappointedly. "There goes that notion. Bunch of hypocrites, the lot of them. Still, well done. I'll need to run tests, of course, and make sure it's viable. Don't want you turning into a toad, after all. And maybe I could suggest it to the more open-minded of my patients--"

"No, Luci," Alfredo said firmly. "The world isn't ready yet and you know it."

She glared at him, then sighed and relented. "Okay, okay," she said. "It just hurts that something that could potentially save so many lives has to pass by. You should be getting awards!"

"I have no need for the adulation of my peers, Luci," he said with distaste.

She grinned and ruffled his hair. "Same ol' Alfie, I see. C'mon! I'm pecked and I know you, you haven't eaten yet, either." She began shoving him toward the staircase, casting a momentary glance back at Henry. "Hurry and get your shoes on--Henry, was it?--I should check on the other tenants. Is that dollymop still around?"

by Guest 18th January 2013, 3:40 pm

Hailey's head jolted up off the table, leaving a red spot on her forehead, as Kropp requested her assistance. She mumbled gibberish again before getting up and started placing the plates, surprisingly leaving the food intact. It did smell quite good, she had to give him that.

After being done with placing the plates she yawns, sits down and places we head on the table once more. "Too... Much.. Magic... Training..." she managed to spell out between yawns, and the smell of food was just making her more sleepy.

by Red 18th January 2013, 4:11 pm

Henry shook himself as the woman finished. She was certainly... forceful. He stood up, lacing his boots back up as the other two started up the stairs. Dollymop. Must mean Hailey. He cringed, staying silent, and followed them back up the stairs.

by **EphPhoenix** 18th January 2013, 4:37 pm

"It smells like you already have the robots--well, well."

Lucia looked into the kitchen to see the three freeloaders--as she saw them, especially the dollymop--placing plates and cooking. She looked over at Kropp and gave him an approving nod.

"A man that can cook. Rare," she commented. "I'll have to reassess."

She looked at Helena. "Glad to see you're making yourself at home," she said wryly, "should you be wearing mama bear's robe, Goldilocks?" Upon Hailey, her eyes were the most distasteful. "Ah, the dollymop. Still haven't grasped the concept of clothes, I see."

She grabbed the chair next to Alfredo's usual spot and waited. Alfredo's face was neutral, as he couldn't decide whether to cringe or laugh at the expressions in the room...

by Guest 18th January 2013, 4:41 pm

Kropp finished cooking and setting the table, which now was full with table settings and food. Helena yawned and staggered in.
"Ah, you're just in time. Why aren't you dressed?" Kropp raised an eyebrow.
"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" She glared at him.
"Everyone here has already seen me shirtless." He rolled his eyes.
"Robots stole my clothes, does that answer your question?" She took a seat. "And if our landlord has a problem with me using this robe it was either this or me running around half naked." The robe was obviously too big for her, it was so long she almost tripped on the bottom of it several times. The sleeves ended at her fingertips and baggily hung around her.
"So what's for breakfast?" She asked, looking up.
"What isn't for breakfast? I made damn near everything. Now we impatiently wait for the rest of our company." He sighed, sitting down and slouching in his chair. Helena looked over to Hailey.
"I sincerely hope you're not wearing that for recon. You'll stick out like a sore thumb."
At the three newcomers Kropp smiled. "You learn such skills when no one else in your crew realizes food doesn't always come in a can, miss."
Helena frowned. "Unless you wanted me running a muck in a towel, I had to wear this robe. Blasted robots stole my clothes."

by Guest 18th January 2013, 5:24 pm

Hailey looks at Helena as she comments on her clothes. "I could say the same to you.." she says with a chuckle, she was then going to explain that she wanted her help to get changed into a civil outfit until the bitchfit doctor came in and commented on every ones way of life.

As she commented on her, Hailey simply glared at her with sleepy eyes for a moment before laying her head on the table a mumbling "bitch" in such a low voice that it merely sounded like gibberish.

by Red 18th January 2013, 9:18 pm

Henry followed up the stairs silently, hearing rather than seeing Lucia's grand entrance into the kitchen. He cringed, walking in silently behind Alfredo and trying his best to not attract attention. He reached down to his side - no, his sword was in his room where he'd left it for training. He strode back to his room, strapping it around his waist and feeling the comforting weight of it at his side before silently returning to the kitchen and looking away from Hailey.

by **EphPhoenix** 18th January 2013, 9:54 pm

"So, Kropp was it?" Lucia said with a grin. "You fry those eggs on that six pack or are you wearing no shirt to show off?"

Alfredo couldn't take it. He burst out laughing.

by Guest 18th January 2013, 10:01 pm

It took Kropp a blink to register what she had said, Helena on the otherhand started into uproarous laughter. At first trying to stifle it in her arms but finally giving up, tetering back on her chair, the towel falling off her head. She clasped her hand over her mouth, clutching her side and doubling over. Kropp raised and eyebrow at the woman, smirking. "I just don't feel the need to wear one when everyone around here's already seen me without it. Does it bother you?"

by **EphPhoenix** 18th January 2013, 10:14 pm

Lucia's grin widened. "Not at all, soldier," she said. "Just wondering if you did that a lot in Somalia. The critters would've eaten you alive."

by Guest 18th January 2013, 10:35 pm

Kropp gives a laugh. "I was young but I wasn't a complete idiot." Helena calms down and raises an eyebrow at him. "Huh? What's Somalia?" He waves a hand at her. "Chemical war. Horrific. The shit they used could melt the flesh off your bones or dissolve you from the inside out. Quite a few of my buddies died like that; worst part was there was really nothing you could do to help them." He looks back to Lucia. "But Somalia, man. You were a field nurse?"

by Red 18th January 2013, 10:44 pm

Henry cringed. He'd been nearly out of the service during Somalia, and never had the misfortune to be stationed there. So there was one good thing about his little escapade on the harlots ship. At least it meant he'd quit before he could get sent there.

He cleared his throat. "Helena, if you really want clothes you can borrow some of mine," he said softly, not wanting to get in the way of their discussion. "Though it'll hardly be your size..."

by **EphPhoenix** 18th January 2013, 10:49 pm

Lucia said a polite thank you to the machine as it passed her tea. Earl Grey with a dash of cinnamon and honey. She nodded.

"Ohhhh yeah," she said heavily. "The unit I was with was lucky that we hit the place when monsoon season started. Their weapon was rendered a lot less effective. Gave me time to analyze it and figure out ways to counter it while the unit dismantled the assholes. There were a lot of dead bodies from that..." She shook her head, then sipped her tea again, her eyes looking back into something no one ever needed to see.

by Guest 18th January 2013, 10:57 pm

Kropp sighed. "Yeah. I was young and dumb, so I was one of the first to volunteer for it. I was lucky to get out; it was fucking hell. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, that's what I told myself, at least. We were lucky monsoon season came when it did, we would've been shit out of luck otherwise." He looked back to the table. "Bacon? Also you lot can start eating if you'd like." Helena looked to Henry. "You sure? I wrecked your last, and probably only, shirt last time you trusted me with your clothes." She piled food on her plate and dug in. Favoring the meat on the table.

by Red 19th January 2013, 7:09 am

He shrugged. "I don't mind, I have spares now," he said, nodding a thanks to Kropp as he started towards the food on the table. To be honest, he appreciated having a meal made by a person rather than a machine, as well. "Besides, the robots have stolen my clothes before, too," he said wryly, competing with Helena for the meat.

by Guest 19th January 2013, 7:48 am

Hailey lifts her head once more, frowning this time. "Why doesn't Helena just borrow my clothes... It's closer to her size and it's made for ladies as opposed to men" she said confused before shrugging and as she begins to eat her fatigue fades away, Finally.

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