Afterimage

Time and time again the clock ticked out the seconds to pile up to minutes which would stretch into hours. Listless and void of solid thought a young woman with white hair cut short and sharp, just shy of her shoulders, stood and tapped the toe of her high heel in time to the tick-tock of the silver-framed clock. Her ocean blue eyes blinked as she broke from her daze and looked over to the man evaluating her.

"I am just so, so, so tired." She said with a drawn out sigh and heavily put her right palm on her forehead in aggravation.

She rubbed her hand against her skin and felt a bit of sweat. Thinking about what plagued her made her fretful.

"You can sit you know. It is better to relax." Her psychiatrist told her in a soft voice.

He was mid-thirties, clean shaven, soft gray eyes, neatly trimmed brown hair, curved jaw, and his face was always so emotionless but in a reassuring way. It made the woman a little agitated though. He was too hard to gauge. Was he actually relating with his clients or did he just pretend to so he could get his paycheck?

"No, I need to walk it out to talk it out. You know? I just can't sit still."

"Okay then. Let's go over some of what you told me last time, Pandora. You are 21 now, but you still have reoccurring dreams which have happened as far back as you can remember. These dreams are not nightmares in the usual sense, but they do disturb you and keep you from feeling rested when you wake up. This is your main concern, right?"

Pandora listened for a moment and nodded as he finished, "Yes Dr. Celier that sums it up."

He continued, "You have told me about your family and some of your past, but I still have not been able to grasp the cause of this problem. I think it would be beneficial for both of us if you tell me your thoughts on the source of these dreams."

"That's what I'm coming to YOU for! YOU'RE supposed to tell me!" She snipped as she pointed accusingly at him. Her other hand perched angrily on her hip.

He did not react like she thought he would. His face remained impassive and he watched her movements. She was just a subject to analyze; an item of study. She had tried many different ways to get an emotional response from him, but he was just too composed. She pulled her gaze from him and her heels tapped furiously as she walked wildly through the small room.

"Keep calm. This is only our third session together, and you know yourself better than I do. If you tell me what you think about the problem, what you say might give me insight on what approach to take." He told her after he let her pace around the room a few times.

"I... yeah. Sorry. The stress and lack of sleep has been getting to me." She replied and finally sat down on the edge of the patient's couch.

She tucked her legs under her and pressed a hand on the edge of her purple skirt modestly. She was still very tense and her feet fidgeted.

"When I even think about the dream I get anxious. The feelings from the dream follow me into the waking world. I've thought about causes for the dream itself. I have. But I have little basis to go on. It's not due to life stresses now because the dream has happened ever since I was little. The whiteness is just there. Always. I thought it might just represent something I am afraid of, but the white itself is soothing and familiar. Still, something scares me and the fear is so oppressive sometimes it chokes me. I wake up sputtering and coughing. None of my family members are that scary. No one I know now or knew when I was young made me feel like that. It has to be more symbolic than literal. But I've always liked the color white. I don't understand why it would have such a bad feeling to it."

Dr. Celier nodded his head maybe a quarter inch, "Yes. I have something to go on now."

He tapped his pen on the paper he using to jot down his notes, "You said you like the color white. Is that why you bleach your hair?"

Pandora's eyes widened in surprise, but they quickly burned into rage, "How dare you assume that! This is my natural hair color!"

Dr. Celier actually blinked with muted surprise, "White is not a n-"

"Don't tell me what is natural! I am borderline albino and this is how my hair has looked since birth so why don't you psychoanalyze someone else because I am through for today!" She talked over him and jumped up from the couch.

It did not matter to her that she had 10 minutes left on the clock. Dr. Celier was just like everyone else: presumptuous, self-involved, and lacking in personality.

Pandora stormed out and left the office. She immediately began to feel bad. It was rare for her to blow up like that, but she had always been picked on about her hair. People always made assumptions. She could not worry about all that though. She had to get to work.

Note: These marks <> mean that she is either speaking or thinking in Japanese. Any Japanese words I use, I'll leave a definition at the bottom of the post in case someone doesn't know what they mean.

"...and don't forget, your essays are due Monday morning! NO EXCEPTIONS!" The professor cried out above the noise of the students getting up out of their desks and leaving the room. Yumi put her text books back into her bag and sighed. <I haven't even started on my essay...>

"Yumi-chan!"

Yumi's thoughts are interrupted as she hears her name being called by a familiar voice. She looks up and sees Emily, one of her classmates, approaching her. The blond haired brown eyed girl smiles, "How are you?"

"I am good." Yumi replies, "But I am not ready for essay. I am not even started on it."

"Me either...I hate essays." Emily replies. Yumi didn't know Emily very well, but after finding out Yumi was Japanese, Emily was fascinated by her, and they would hang out a lot on their breaks, "Listen, you're done with classes for the day, right?"

Yumi nods, and Emily continues, "I've got about three hours before my next class. Me and a bunch of other girls made plans to meet up at Bertolli's for lunch. Want to come?"

Yumi takes on a sorrowful expression and bows deeply, "Gomenosai*...but I do not have money..."

"Stop that, Yumi...geez..." Emily says, pushing Yumi up straight, "It's alright. I've got you covered. It's not too expensive to eat there."

"Oh...really....you do not have to do that...." Yumi protests.

"I insist!" Emily proceeds. Yumi opens her mouth to protest again, but Emily interjects, "Listen, this is AMERICA. I know in Japan, it's normal to protest against such things, but here, when you protest a gift of generosity, some people may take it offensively....like me."

Yumi takes on a guilty expression "Oh...sorry...I guess I will go..."

Emily beams in satisfaction, "AWESOME! Come with me. I gotta stop by my dorm real quick, and then we'll head over there."

Yumi throws her book bag over her shoulder and follows Emily out of the classroom.

*Gomenosai = I am very sorry

Mei sits beside the receptionist lady sitting behind the counter in the Psychiatrist Center. She scans the faces of people waiting for their session, glances at the clock every now and again to see how much time was left until the session that was going on would finish, and glared at the door, trying to guess when it would open.

She stared at one door with deep intensity, willing it to open. Open... You know you want to... were the thought that went through her head until she moved onto the next door. These same thought paraded through her mind until she set her gaze on Dr. Celier's door. His sessions were usually the longest, so she didn't pay much attention to it. She gave the door a chance every time, though, and when the patient slams the door open, she jumps at the coincidence.

She watched the white haired girl with curiosity, noticing the obvious anger displayed across her face. I wonder what's wrong with her...? She thinks to herself.

Pandora took in a deep breath to calm herself, but she holds the breath when she realizes that her outburst has startled the people in the waiting room. She gives a sheepish smile as she breathes out and moves toward the exit.
"Sorry... sorry..." She told the people as she passed.
The first was some brown-haired woman who looked very pensive, and there was also a girl in a nice violet outfit but bright orange hair.
"Don't mind me, I'm on my way out." She told them. As she walked to the entrance the receptionist at the desk barely paid any attention to her.
"See you next week, Ms. Esperanto."
She had probably dealt with stranger things than random outbursts.
Pandora waved quickly as she went to leave.

Dr. Celier was at his office door, "Pandora, please, come back to the session. We can talk off the clock if you like." He called to her barely above his normal voice.
Pandora stiffened at his voice. Her hand was already on the exit door.
"I'm afraid I can't. I have to get to Bertolli's. My shift is coming up." She said loudly to him without looking back and walked out.

Dr. Celier shook his head, "I suppose I struck a nerve with her." He said to himself.
He turned his head and noticed Lia, "Lia you are early for once. Good to see you. Care to come in?"
He asked her politely.

For Pandora to work was simple despite the traffic. Getting prepared was also easy. The routine kept her mind busy. She was waiting tables today, and sometimes people would tip her to sing at their meals. [Similar to Macaroni Grill if anyone has ever been to one.]
Since she was "talent" and not just help, there were other waiters that would cover her tables should she be asked to sing. She wanted to sing. It would calm her nerves.

Many groups from her college came in around this hour and she saw a few friends dotted at the tables. She was forgetting about the dream for now. She just had to make it through the day.

Dr. Celier stood up after Lia left.
He rubbed his eyes with one hand as thoughts ran through his head. He never seemed to get far with his patients. Lia in particular showed little improvement and he had such high hopes to help her recover her memories. At least she was making a step forward by focusing on her life at hand and the possible future.
As for Pandora she was hard to gauge and she always taunted him for some reason he could not fathom.

He walked over to a bookshelf and stared at the contents. All psychiatric books or medical journals. He looked at the pictures he had put there. They were just landscapes... no people, friends, or family. Even the landscapes were of places he had never been, just pretty pictures with not attachment to him.

For once, it hit Dr. Celier hard. He felt alone.


And the feeling was gone. It hurt his heart and made him catch his breath, but it just was gone after that. It was wiped away by thoughts of other people's feelings and thoughts. He had to focus on them because it was his job.
The feeling hit again. Alone.
He looked in on himself and there was nothing looking back.

"-Dr.Celier? Your next client is coming in." His receptionist said on his phone-line.
"Send her in." He said after he pressed the reception line.
His voice was mute. His manner serene. His patients needed him.

*Mei looks around, noticing that the waiting room was almost completely empty. This was her cue to leave. She stood up and walked out the door, her stomach growling at her. I should probably get something to eat... she thinks as she walks by Bertolli's. She stops and turns, a fresh, crisp smell flooding into her. Now THAT smells good! I think I'll have some of that! She then starts to walk in, but bumps into an angry man walking out, knocking them both to the ground.*

Mei: "Ah!!! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to... I mean, I wasn't watching where I was going. I am so sorry!"

*She then bows her head down as if she were shamed*

*Mei watched as the man warned her, stood up, and left. She then stands up herself, turning in his direction and waving*
Mei: "Uh, okay! I'm sorry! Again... I will be more careful next time!"

*She smiles in his direction, hoping that he would look back so that she would know that he wasn't mad at her, but he kept on walking. She sighs, then turns to walk into Bertolli's. The smell slapped her in the face, making her stomach growl silently. She then took a seat with a smile on her face, ready to order whenever a waitress would come and take her order*

Everything was going smoothly until a dark-haired man called out to Pandora gruffly.
Of course, not her by name, but she was the only one with "silver hair."

She walked over to the table as he told her dourly to sing a song for his friend in a very rude manner just before slamming a hundred dollar bill on the table, which caused her to move her head back in surprise, and then he suddenly stomped off with long strides. He had such a brooding air about him it disturbed her.

"A-h-h-h..." She let out in a confused manner as she looked at the man left behind.
The man put on a smile as best he could, "Don't mind Nate. The guy was dealt a heavy lot in life. I could use a song though, but not because I will 'never know the touch of a woman.'"
He told her.
"I'm Thomas by the way... Pandora." He said as he read her nametag.
"Yes, I'm Pandora. Okay Thomas. Nice to meet you despite the circumstances. I'll go break this hundred." She answered.

"No, no. It's all for you." He let her know.
"Ah, alright. What song? I don't know a wide range." She said as she put the bill in her apron.
The money felt strange. It was way more than usual, and it was not given with the usual good will.
Thomas gave a grin, "Any song is fine. Something pretty like Nate said."

"As you say." Pandora told him and thought of a good song.
"I will sing Hummingbirds by Venus Hum. They are not a well known group, but they have some wonderful and 'pretty' songs. Honestly I can't get their music out of my head."
She took a calming breath and clapped her hands to the piano player who was playing classical music. She mouthed "hummingbirds" and the accompaniment started. Some of the regulars noticed and clapped and cheered as she began.
Hummingbirds
Lyrics:
"Some of my favorite colors in the world
Beat against my eyelids with the blues of green hummingbirds
Some of my favorite colors in the world
Beat against my eyelids with the reds of pink hummingbirds

Blue Moon
So white
So scared
To come out tonight

It's too dark
For him
He's just a boy
With a man's grin

Crane and the swan
Wingspan across
Lake's silver light
The ivory night

Some of my favorite colors in the world
Beat against my eyelids with the blues of green hummingbirds
Some of my favorite colors in the world
Beat against my eyelids with the reds of pink hummingbirds

Godiva Girl
Swimming in chocolate
Winged foil heart cardinals
Oh but February stopped it
Red Bird
Scared white
She's just a girl
With a woman's smile

Crane and the swan
Wingspan across
Green apple ponds
The red apple sky

Some of my favorite colors in the world
Beat against my eyelids with the blues of green hummingbirds
Some of my favorite colors in the world
Beat against my eyelids with the reds of pink hummingbirds

I want to be neat
I want to be clean
I want to be marvelous

Thank me
The colors of it

Some of my favorite colors in the world
Beat against my eyelids with the blues of green hummingbirds
Some of my favorite colors in the world
Beat against my eyelids with the reds of pink hummingbirds..."

As she finished, many people stood up and clapped, including Thomas. Pandora blushed a bit as she dipped in a small bow.
"Thank you. I hope that was good enough." She said.
"I'm sure it will do." Thomas said with a wide grin.
"Enjoy the rest of your afternoon." Pandora said with a nod of her head.

She walked off and noticed that someone still had not been served, it was a young woman with orange hair and a purple outfit....
"Hello, miss, sorry for your wait. I'll be your server today. My name is Pandora - Wait... didn't I see you earlier today?" She asked as she took out her order pad to write down what she wanted.
"It was the psychiatrists' office wasn't it?" She said while she squinted her eyes a little as she thought back.

*Mei looks up at Pandora with shock. It only lasts for a few moments, though, her expression turning to a more kind look*
Mei: "Yep! That is where we saw each other! What a coincidence!"

*Mei scans the menu, looking at all the food selections that made her mouth water just by observing*
Mei: "I think I'll take the Pasta Tuscana. It looks so delicious! Could I get a Dr. Pepper to go with that?"

Woah... is this girl for real? Why was she at the psychiatrist's office? Did she actually go to one of the shrinks? If she is already here at Bertolli's I think not. Pandora thought and got a little suspicious wondering what this young girl could be up to. But she let it slide for now. She was at work.
"The pasta tuscana? Good choice. It is exceptional here. Dr. Pepper for sure." She said as she jotted down the order.

"Okay then, I'll get the order in. We have good chefs here so you might have to wait for about 15 minutes but it is worth it, believe me. I'll bring your drink and some rolls by." She said to the girl and walked off with a nice smile.

She passed by Thomas and gave a bob of her head.
"Do you need a refill or anything?" She asked.
Thomas looked up, his face looked pinched and emotionally tired, "No thanks. Man, I expected Nate to come back eventually. This is the first time in a while he has actually ditched me like this. Get me my ticket so I can head out and look for him, please."

"Oh... ok. Sure. No problem." She said and looked a little concerned, but decided not to ask.
Most people were willing to share a little, but she should not pry.
Just two more hours and I can get home and relax. Today has been exhausting for some reason. She thought as she filled up a glass with Dr. Pepper and set it on the counter while she rang Thomas up.

Yumiko followed Emily and three other girls Emily had introduced as Sarah, Jessica, and Kayla, into Bertolli's. The smell caused her stomach to make a gurgley noise, and Emily gave her a weird look. Yumi's face turned a bright red, "Sorry...." Emily just giggled.

"Have you ever had Italian food?" Emily asked her as they found a table and sat down.

Yumiko looked up at the ceiling, "I have spaghetti once." She nodded.

"That's all?" Sarah said in surprise. Emily elbowed the girl in the ribs, "Sarah....she's Japanese...not Italian."

"Yeah..." Sarah said, "But..I'm American, and I LOVE italian food!"

"Americans eat everything, dippy." Kayla interjected.

"Yeah!" Emily agreed. She smiled at Yumiko.

"Well, Yumi, have you ever eaten here at this restaurant?" Jessica asked her. Yumiko shook her head.

"REALLY?" Sarah exclaimed, "This is like...the best restaurant in the whole city!"

Emily gave her an annoyed look, "Can you stop being annoying?"

Sarah glared at Emily and didn't say anything else. Emily turned to Yumiko with a smile, "She is right about it being the best restaurant in the city though. I'll give her that." She looked around the restaurant room, and seemed to spot what she had been looked for. She pointed to a young woman with silvery hair, "You see that waitress?" Yumi nodded, "She has the most beautiful voice ever! She'll sing to us if we tip her! When someone comes to take our orders, I'll request her to come sing, and you'll see."

Yumiko smiled, not really having anything to say. She felt awkward being around so many people...but...she was very hungry.

"It's really busy today..." Jessica commented. They had been waiting for someone to come and take their order for a little over 5 minutes now.

"Maybe they just hadn't noticed us yet...because they're so busy..." Kayla said.

Emily saw a waitress quickly pass by, and caught her attention, "Uh, excuse me, Ma'am!" The waitress, tall, skinny, with brown hair tied up into a pony tale stopped and looked at Emily. Yumiko noted the air of annoyance that she could feel coming from the young woman, but she hid it rather well for everyone else. Yumiko could read peoples' emotions like a book.

"Yes?" She said kindly.

"My friends and I have been waiting for a little while, and was just wondering if we could get someone soon to take our orders." Emily said.

The young waitress smiled and nodded, "I will try to find someone who isn't too busy at the moment...as you can see, there are many customers today. I'm sorry for the wait. We'll get to you as soon as we can." And without letting any time for Emily to respond, she turned and sped off.

"'Service with a smile...'" Sarah chuckled.

*Mei looks around curiously, still waiting for her drink and food. She watches as a waitress almost completely blows off a group sitting at a table*

Mei then mumbles to herself, "Geez... You think that if a waitress is called for, she should go ahead and take the orders of the customers..."

*She turns her gaze to Pandora, who was currently checking out another customer*

Mei: "Like that! See, that girl is courteous."

*She then sighs and takes a comfortable position of leaning back in the chair*

Leilani is finally back at the main desk of the library. It serves as both the circulation and mini coffee stand. She looks around at the disheveled area. Normally she likes to keep her area neat, but that was impossible with today's commotion. She glances at her watch. Good, she thinks to herself. Lia should be in any time now. She looks for the book she set aside for her, hoping that it would be one that Lia will enjoy.

Leilani looks up suprised to see her this early. She was hoping to have the counter a little more cleaned off. She takes the book from Lia. "I am glad you enjoyed. Oh and please excuse the mess we had preschoolers in the childrens area today." She bends down to grab the book she put aside. "If you want I have another one for you. It is a little different from the last one, but I think you will enjoy it too."

Lia takes the book while Leilani checks in the other. "So tell me what happened?"

Leilani looks at her favorite patron. "I don't mean to pry, but maybe the doctor is happy that you finally want to put the past behind you. I know you've been trying hard to remember, but maybe that is part of the problem. Ahh what do I know I am only a librarian..."

She takes a drink from her coffee. "My coworkers are killing me. They think that since I don't party every night I am going to end up a spinster. I don't know how they do it." She scans a few more books, putting them on the cart to be filed on the shelves again. "I am still getting used to all this busyness I guess."